When you think of NFL quarterbacks, you often think of guys with supermodel wives, million dollar cars, and movie star good looks. Quarterbacks are the new rock stars, or pizza chain restaurant promoters, which are basically the same thing. More Americans can tell you who the quarterback for the New York Jets is than who New York’s governor is (probably).
The NFL is becoming a celebrity league. Guys like Tom Brady make more than double their salary in endorsements, and when I say “guys like Tom Brady”, I mean just Tom Brady. However, Tom Brady has never been the highest paid quarterback in the NFL in terms of salary. Currently Aaron Rodgers holds that distinction, but Rodgers is washed up, and would have done nothing to bolster ratings for Sunday’s Pro Bowl.
It’s time to face facts about the Pro Bowl. Here’s one: nobody cares about the Pro Bowl. Like at all.
Only one man could have garnered the national interest, dazzle audiences and draw droves of salivating fans yearning for a satisfying conclusion to the story of a player whose team suffered one of the NFL’s most disappointing results to a season. Only one man could have made an audience care about the NFL’s most pointless game of the year.
This particular quarterback was arguably the best in his entire conference, and if not for some bad luck and questionable officiating, may be representing the NFC in this upcoming Sunday’s Super Bowl.
I’m talking about Matt Ryan, of course.
Who else would I be referring to? Matty Ice led the NFC in passing yards, had 38 total touchdowns to just seven interceptions, and had one of the league’s highest quarterback ratings despite having to play behind an injury ravaged offensive line.
Besides his incredible play, Matt Ryan is a modern day James Dean. The man oozes cool, which is why they call him Matty Ice.
Oh, and Matty Ice? Sweet nickname. Definitely beats something derivative like, say, A-Rodg.
You know what else makes Matt Ryan the man who could have saved the Pro Bowl for the NFC? His attitude. Matt Ryan never whines, unlike other quarterbacks in his own division who think referees swing a game more than their own overtime interceptions. He’s a pro’s pro.
So why did Mitchell Trubisky and Dak Prescott make the Pro Bowl while Matt Ryan didn’t?
Rumor has it that Ryan declined his invitation to the Pro Bowl, presumably because it took place in Orlando, a city known for its ties to urban legend “Florida Man”. If you know anything about Florida Man, you wouldn’t go either. Matt Ryan, being the smart man he is, obviously weighed this decision carefully.
As a result, the NFC was easily defeated 26-7 by the AFC in a rainy exhibition game watched by seventeen people.
Surely, the result would have been different if Matty Ice were there. Sadly, we can only look back and imagine what this year’s Pro Bowl could have been when our children ask us what the Pro Bowl was in twenty years.
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